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The day before the rest of my life… February 13, 2012

Posted by mattfarmer in books and reading, writing.
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A little dramatic, I know, but it is kind of how I am feeling. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, February 14th. The date that I proclaimed I would release my debut novel, The Girl From Out of Town on to an unsuspecting world. Well, if you were reading this blog you might have suspected something.

That plan changed, and I offered a free preview, Act 1, to grab readers who want to know the rest of the story. Still to be released on February 14th. This nearly did not come to pass. I gave one of my editors permission to go balls’n’all nasty on my manuscript. I thought – it’s not THAT bad. I received something to the contrary back from her.

Now, admittedly this was an email conversation, and upon actually talking the news wasn’t all THAT bad. She wanted MORE description. I was sitting in the school of an economics of writing. Write the scene in as few words as possible to get the story across. But she wanted more, more description of the environment. I am creating a rich and colourful world, so I should show the world. And some of the scenes had no direction, there were a lot of names no one would remember, things like that.

This left me deflated on Sunday. But, we came to a compromise. I want to get something out as a free preview. I have added some more colour and depth, I have removed names that are irrelevant, my poor lead character only has 3 friends now, not 4. I removed an entire plot hook since even I saw it was kind of dumb.

And so now I sit, late afternoon, February 13th. I have yet to format to Smashword’s specifications. I must go out and run around a basketball court now. And then come home and figure it out. Should be easy, right?

But, I am sitting here, and I am paranoid scared and proud. I am paranoid people are going to read it and find spelling errors. Words which are spelled correctly but are the wrong word for that place, and they will think- what a hack. Couldn’t get that edited out? I am waiting for me to find something I left in which could have been better! And then I should re-write it and re-publish it and tell everyone- hey! I changed 5 words! Download the new version!

I am scared because I have never done this before. I have let people read my work before, but I knew them. This is the internet we are talking about now. There are far more people out there I don’t know, than I do. There is a possibility they wont like what I have written. I am both okay with this and not okay with this. A) Okay with is because not everyone likes everything. People are entitled to their opinion, and I know, in myself, that it’s a good story. I enjoyed writing the story, I love the characters and the world I have created. So in myself, I like it. However B) because I like it so much, I want everyone else to like it as well. And if they don’t, and if they throw mud at me, that might hurt. That would give my inside voices ammunition to use against me.

And I am proud because this is a MASSIVE step along that journey I started ages ago. I started this blog to chart my journey as a writer, and this here is a massive step along the way. I announced a date and, while I had to compromise along the way, I am sticking to that date. That is something I am proud of.

Tomorrow is most definitely going to be a strange day.

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